It’s that time of year again! The air is cold and smells of pumpkin-spiced delights. The leaves have changed from green to shades of orange, yellow and brown. This can only mean one thing... Halloween is coming! That’s right folks, everyone's favorite spooky holiday is fast approaching. Do you know what you are going to dress up as this year? You don’t?? Well, then you are in luck because I have compiled a list of exciting new costumes for you to try out this Halloween. Be the hottest human at the party sporting one of these new and unique ideas:

Sexy Versions of Things
Has your Halloween costume track record been comprised mainly of sexy animal costumes? Bunny ears and a corset? I feel you. I have been there. Multiple times. Let’s spice things up with these sexy yet creative alternatives:

Sexy Cinder Block 
Sexy UPS Envelope 
Sexy Endangered Vaquita 
Sexy Wireless Keyboard
Sexy Modernist Art Installation 

Manly Man Costumes
Sexy stuff not your thing? Would you rather bust into the party by blowing the front door open with a fucking grenade?! You should probably calm down, but I have some amazing Halloween costume ideas for you too, you crazy bastard.

A Bearded Bottle of Axe Body Spray
Failed 90s Action Star
A Professional Pickle Jar Opener
A Shotgun Filled With Beer
Unshaven Balls

There you have it! Now you can be fully prepared for all the Halloween parties that your friends will be inviting you to via Facebook Event Invites. If you end up going to more than one party because you don’t want Becky to be upset that you went to Bryce’s party but not hers (stupid Becky) then switch it up and try out several looks! Be Sexy Drapes one night then A Shotgun Filled With Beer on another. The world is your oddly-costumed oyster! 

Til next time!