Long before I was known as “that guy who does a bunch of stuff on Woodrocket.com”, I spent many years as a professional porno extra. Ok, maybe it wasn't for THAT long, and perhaps it doesn't necessarily qualify as “professional” but still, in the almost 10 years I've been part of this industry I've played, in no particular order:

a doctor

a wizard

a janitor

a wolverine

a roadie

an ice peen

a nihilist

a Bowser

a Russian gangster

a turtle

a zombie

a Snoopy

an oblivious father

an oblivious husband

a Biatch Boy (not to be confused with our PG cousins the Beach Boys)

a student

a bad poker player

a music producer

a porn producer

George Lucas

 

My first go around in the porn world was on Lee Roy Myers’ Big Lebowski XXX parody where I was asked to play a Nihilist, dunking porn star legend Tom Byron’s head into a toilet while reciting some dialogue. I knew pretty much no one on a set of dozens and suddenly I was thrust onto set wearing a bad wig pretending to be someone I was not while making sure I didn’t completely screw up the lead’s make-up and prosthetic beard. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking for obvious reasons and if you asked me today to recite my lines I wouldn’t have the first clue. Needless to say, I absolutely nailed that role and the many others since, working for numerous adult companies ranging from Brazzers and New Sensations to Zero Tolerance and, of course, WoodRocket. Along the way, I’ve managed to snag a couple of AVN nominations which, if you think about it, is really funny in a novelty sort of way. I’ve never considered myself the acting sort but sometimes the sheer hilarity of showing off my acting chops in such a unique medium to old friends and family makes the whole experience worthwhile.

 

So why am I telling you all this? Why am I writing an article about being an extra in porn? Is it just to brag about all the awesome stuff I’ve done and to make you feel a little less fulfilled about your life? Well.... not completely. Really it’s mostly to give a very small glimpse into our little, isolated world and also to give some tips for anyone who has ever entertained the notion of doing the same for bucket list purposes or whatever other reason. Now, please don’t think of this as an excuse or a green light to start hitting us up for opportunities. We are very happy with our little network and core group of friends that we work with so please don’t misinterpret any of this as a subliminal call for help. However, if this is something you’ve always been intrigued by and /or the opportunity ever arises consider this my holiday gift to you.

 

First off, don’t be creepy. There is absolutely nothing worse than being “that” person on a porn set and nothing will get you booted and blackballed more than making the talent, especially the female talent, uncomfortable. Believe me, you’re replaceable and you ain’t special (sorry to burst your bubble), so before you start awkwardly leering at the girls and making everyone awkward, just remember - you’re there to fill a small, probably insignificant role. Believe it or not, there’s still a certain standard of professionalism expected from everyone cast and crew so don’t go in expecting every porn stereotype to be validated. There are no wild orgies happening on set, or rampant debauchery. It’s really just mostly people on their phones playing Candy Crush. There have been countless times I remember having to escort people off set because they wouldn't stop hitting on the girls. I couldn’t lose their contact info fast enough. It’s a small industry so people talk. Also, please don't give everyone a verbal resume. No one cares what you've done and chances are you're there because either someone else couldn't do it or there was an open call for just about anyone regardless of experience.

 

Secondly, be prepared. Now that means more than just coming to set on time with whatever wardrobe they asked you to bring and knowing whatever lines you have. When I say prepared I mean be prepared for the unexpected and to be there for a long, long time. Sure, it may not take all day and it may actually fly by, but there have been too many long days on set dealing with unforeseeable delays that just can’t be avoided and while we try and get the people not having sex out of there as quickly as we can, sometimes we’re all in it for the long haul together. Sometimes actors forget lines or just don’t get it at all and the scenes drag on. I remember when we shot Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles, it was brutal for the four of us in our respective turtle outfits simply because you breathed, saw and spoke out of the same small sliver where our mouths were. The shoot took a long time mostly because there were some “choreographed” fight scenes involved and we were sort of figuring it out as we went along. There isn't anything you can do except whatever you can to help make the day as painless as possible. Bottom line is if you’re booked on set, it’s best to make sure your day is completely free because, as I said, anything can happen.

 

Lastly, do it because you want to do it. Being an extra in any film, mainstream, indie, adult, isn’t glamorous and it sure ain’t lucrative. If you plan on quitting a job because you foresee a great future for yourself emulating my extensive and fulfilling career in front of the camera, then all I can do is urge you to strongly reconsider. Besides, there can only be one me and I personally like being that Seth. But if your mind is made up, expect to be well-compensated in Trader Joe's catering and, if you’re lucky, fast food lunch. Also, it’s SUPER important to remember that once it’s done, it’s done. Meaning, make sure this isn’t something that may come back to haunt you in some way down the road because there is absolutely no coming back. Being in front of the camera in porn is more or less the same as damning or insensitive tweets - they’re always going to be there when you least want them to.

 

While I’ve probably painted a grim and unfun picture of life on set, at least as an extra, the truth is that no matter how long and arduous the shoots have been and no matter how exhausted everyone gets, it’s always been a blast and an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything (well, maybe Testiclehead from Fortnut). And while this whole thing wasn’t necessarily written to encourage you to pursue this dream, if you at least heed my words it’ll at least help make the experience a little more pleasant for everyone involved. Happy Holidays all!