Welcome to the spoooooky edition of Sexflix for October. I know we're supposed to be concentrating on getting that awesome Zombie Hugh Hefner costume ready for Halloween but ya got 31 days to find the perfect smoking jacket so relax. In the meantime, why not take a break from all the insanity happening in the world and take a gander at some of the smut we uncovered on your favorite streaming sites. Turn on the ol' boob tube an get ready to Monster Mash your Jack-O-Latern in an all new...
SEXFLIX: The sexiest streaming movies & shows coming to NETFLIX, HBO NOW, AMAZON PRIME, & HULU in October 2017
Before Midnight (2013)
I don't know about anyone else, but I fell in love with Julie Delpy the moment she took off her top in An American Werewolf In Paris, so anytime she's naked in a movie on a streaming site somewhere, I feel it is my personal duty to make all of you feel the way I do. She may be a little bit older now (she was 44 when she starred in this Linklater classic), but still sexy as hell.
(Netflix – Oct 1)
Monster's Ball (2001)
You would think that there is absolutely no way Halle Berry would every want to be involved romantically with Billy Bob Thornton until you realize that in the real world, he somehow conned Angelina Jolie into falling head over heels for him. Anyways, Halle is naked - like A LOT. So much in fact that they gave her an Academy Award JUST because of it. Ok, maybe her stellar acting had something to do with it. After all, it's not like she won anything when she bared it for Swordfish!
(HBO NOW – Oct 1)
Speaking of Angelina Jolie, she gets naked and teams up with Captain Kirk (James McAvoy) and the oldest man in the world with earrings (Morgan Freeman) as superhuman assassins.
(HBO Now – Oct 1)
Fifty Shades Darker (2017)
Is anyone truly surprised they made a sequel to Fifty Shades Of Grey? I mean it was such an edge-of-your-seat cliffhanger! Yeah, yeah, I know it was a book, and truthfully, I only saw clips, but it wasn't difficult to fill in the blanks. I assume the same nudity-galore applies here since it stars the same two from the first. Not that we're complaining since Dakota Johnson is hot as hell!
(HBO Now – Oct 1)
The Whole Truth (2016)
Woah! This is like back-to-back editions of Sexflix with Keanu Reeves movies! Thankfully Gene Hackman never joined the guys in the shower in The Replacements! Anywho, this surprisingly enjoyable mystery movie didn't leave much of a mystery regarding how awesome Renee Zellweger's butt is. Ok, a little bit of mystery as it's not completely out for our viewing pleasure, but something about the slight tease thanks to a strategically placed towel is just as sexy.
(Amazon Prime – Oct 15)
The Bounty (1984)
An absolutely incredible cast featuring Anthony Hopkins, Laurence Olivier, Daniel Day-Lewis and a not-yet-crazy Mel Gibson are all overshadowed by Tahitian hottie Tevaite Vernette. The plot is something like Mutiny On The Bounty where the crew gets stranded during an in Tahiti where, apparently, clothes had not been discovered yet so, you know, boobs.
(HULU – Oct 1)
Your classic tale of boy meets golddigger who leaves him because he has no money thus prompting him to become a gigolo in order to win her back is a tale all men have endured in some form or another. Right? RIGHT??! It's like a slightly less romantic version of Deuce Bigolow. Oh yeah, Parisian beauty Audrey Tautou plays the golddigger, and when you see her naked you'll understand why the dude went to such lengths to win her back.
(Amazon Prime – Oct 29)
Another 9 ½ Weeks (1997)
An upgrade from the original 9 ½ Weeks, this time with the redheaded goddess Angie Everheart and a less human/more plastic Mickey Rourke. At least he hasn't turned into Robot Mickey Rourke yet. You know it's gonna happen sooner rather than later, I mean have you seen him recently?! Anyways, Angie is hot as always.
(Hulu – Oct 1)
A Brazilian drama so you KNOW there's gonna be a lot of flesh. It stars the sexy Hermila Guedes, probably best known for her work in The Great Kilapy (I guess? I just randomly chose a movie from Imdb). I'm pretty sure her contract specifically stated that she be naked 75% of the movie, including a beach scene where a bunch of people just hang out in the buff. Ah Brazil.
(Netflix– Oct 1)
It wouldn't make sense to do a Sexflix for October and not include at least one horror film. Hatchet is an unappreciated slasher flick that has Robert Englund, Tony Todd AND motherfuckin' Kane Hodder being all badass. Hatchet also has former Buffy sidekick Harmony AKA Mercedes McNab as well as relative no-namer but smokin' hot Joleigh Floreavanti one-upping each other in a hot naked competition for our pleasure.
(Hulu – Oct 1)