Trick or treat no more! Halloween is finally past us and we can start concentrating on being angry about all the Christmas displays that went up seemingly overnight while we were out drinking and egging the house of our ex-girlfriend's new beau. I mean... nevermind. Well, instead of complaining about the ridiculous amount of fake xmas trees now available at Walmart, why not barricade yourself at home, dig into all that halloween candy you neglected to hand out and take a gander at some of the hottest, steamiest, sexiest stuff now available on the 'ol stream sites.

SEXFLIX: The sexiest streaming movies & shows coming to NETFLIX, HBO NOW, AMAZON PRIME, & HULU in November 2017

Flesh + Blood (1985)
Director Paul Verhoeven has an incredible body of work of films that include, well, incredible bodies of work! From Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct to Elizabeth Berkley in the greatest film ever made – Showgirls, Verhoeven has an eye for talent, if you know what I mean. Flesh + Blood precedes both of those and features a then 23-year-old Jennifer Jason Leigh giving us some incredible footage for our perverted imagination. Even more craziness, the film also featured some nudetastic shots of Nancy Cartwright AKA Bart Simpson. Ay Caramba!
(Hulu  – Nov 1)

The Reader (2008)
Paint me like one of your... German girls? This historical romantic drama set back in postwar Germany is about a dude falling for Kate Winslet. And when you see her get all, as the Germans say, naked, you'll understand why he did.
(Netflix  – Nov 1)

Bachelor Party (1984)
A bachelor party wouldn't be a bachelor party without a bunch of naked women prancing around... and Tom Hanks. In a true fantasy world, Tom Hanks is engaged to Tawny Kitaen and still feels the need to sow some wild oats before taking the plunge. Life really is like a box of chocolates.
(HBO Now – Nov 1)

Barbarella (1968)
In all my time doing these articles, somehow, not once do I ever remember the pleasure of being able to talk about one of the greatest sci-fi softcore masterpieces of any generation – Barbarella. The movie is ridiculous and really paved the way for the oft-sexual humor of Austin Powers, but Jane Fonda was... Oh my god was she insanely hot in this. I guess you could say she gave me a Bonerella (trademarked).
(Hulu – Nov 1)

Club Dread (2004)
The comedy troupe Broken Lizard are geniuses. Not only was their previous film Super Troopers one of the greatest comedies of our generation (not hyperbole at all), but now they've managed to up their game by giving us both top-notch comedy and also some incredibly steamy nudity! From blonde bombshell Brittany Daniel to the sultry Lindsay Price, this movie is both arousing AND hilarious. Kinda like my Bar Mitzvah video. That's unfortunately not streaming anywhere.
(HBO Now – Nov 1)

Nowhere To Run (1993)
What if I told you that back in 1993, a movie was released that was an incredibly awesome action flick but also filled with awesome nudity courtesy of the very sexy Rosanna Arquette. Now, what if I ALSO told you that this particular film starred a certain JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME?? And what if I told you Mr. JCVD does the splits at some point. You're already running to Blockbuster aren't you.
(Amazon Prime – Nov 1)

The Whole Nine Yards (2000)
Sticking with Rosanna Arquette, she's in this one as well but only lookin' all fine instead of all naked. HOWEVER, that doesn't stop the equally hot Amanda Peet from giving us a glimpse of heaven. On a side note, it's sad that Natasha Henstridge doesn't shed her clothes but I guess that's the tradeoff of not having to see Matthew Perry in his birthday suit. Always got to find a silver lining.
(Netflix – Nov 1)

Bad Boys (1983)
No, not the Will Smith/Martin Lawrence blockbuster, although an awkward love scene between them would be HILARIOUSLY awkward. This Bad Boys from back in the '80s starred a pre-Madonna-whipped Sean Penn as a cop running over drug dealers  and pissing off basically everybody. It ALSO starred a very young Ally Sheedy, who played Penn's innocent girlfriend.
(Hulu – Nov 1)

Bound (1996)
Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon happened to be in a lot of edgy, skin-filled flicks from the '90s so it would explain them both being in this Wachowski-written thriller as, you guessed it, lesbian lovers! The girls team up, have hot lesbo love and then try and steal two million bucks of mob money. Sounds HYSTERICAL!
(Hulu – Nov 1)

Jacob's Ladder (1990)
This movie honestly scared the living crap out of me when it first came out. Almost to the point where I had completely forgotten about the wonders of seeing Elizabeth Pena's womanly charms throughout. I just wish they weren't ALWAYS accompanied by Tim Robbins grinning like an idiot. Now that I think about it, he was the scariest part of the whole goddamn film!
(Hulu – Nov 1)