Spring has sprung, it’s getting warm outside, and that honestly doesn’t mean shit to us. We love our TV-time and we know you do as well! So we’ve once again scoured the inter-verse for all the latest details regarding the best mainstream skinflix cumming in May. That means if there’s butts, nips, dicks, or tits debuting on the small screen this month we’ve got you covered right here! So sit back, cover the Roku in plastic, and get ready to Gallagher that baby when you read: 

SEXFLIX: The sexiest streaming movies & shows coming to NETFLIX, HBO GO, AMAZON PRIME, & HULU in MAY 2016

Palm Trees in the Snow (2015)
It’s a Spanish indie romantic drama-- but don’t hold that against it. There’s so much nudity in this flick that all is forgiven the moment that the first of seven (7!) naked sex scenes begin. Waterfall sex? Check. Under the stars. In a car. In a hut? In the butt! All this and more awaits you in a tale of forbidden love & scandal on a remote island called…oh who gives a shit?!
(Netflix – May 1st) 

Bitter Moon (1992)
And oldie but a nudie, this flick stars Kristen Scott Thomas (Mission Impossible) Hugh Grant (Prostitute Enthusiast) and Peter Coyote (What a Name!) but the real showstopper is the then-unknown (and still-unknown) Emmanuelle Seigner. The scene in question involves her seducing Coyote by drooling milk on her naked bosom while George Michael’s Faith plays in the background. And that’s the weirdest sentence we’re gonna write all day!
(HULU or Amazon prime– May 1st) 

True Blood Season 6 (2013)
Fairy blood makes vampires so horny that they’ll fuck werewolves. (Looks like we have to take back the previous proclamation about weird sentences). If you’re looking for a series that combines monsters, incredibly good-looking actors & actresses and tons of blood & sex, you’ve cum to the right place. Anna Panquin and a cast of hotties get together for a rousting game of bang & drain for series’ penultimate season.
(HBO GO– May 1st) 

Brokeback Mountain (2005)
If you wanna little cinematic ac/dc action this is probably the safest, most mainstream bet around. Two of the hottest dudes in Hollywood hook-up cowboy style plus Disney princess Ann Hathaway busts out the forbidden goodies, so there is something for everyone (or just everything for someone!)
(HBO-GO– May 1st) 

Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
We’ve been Elizabeth Shue fans since Adventures In Babysitting, so although this flick is intensely depressing (and what Nic Cage movie isn’t?) it was certainly worth getting through it to finally see Liz show off her shubbies.
(Amazon Prime– May 1st) 

Banshee Season 2 (2015)
Sure, it’s actually a damn well written series full of intrigue, deception and conflict, but what really made us happy is the fact that this Cinemax Original retuned to the premium television network’s roots—mainly showing titties. Now if we could only watch it through a scrambled signal it would truly feel like Skinemax.
(Amazon Prime– May 1st) 

Sex, Lies, And Videotape (1989)
Wait, we just watched this whole stupid movie and there’s NO NUDITY? Talk about false advertising. Steer clear of this flick unless you wanna see a terse, cleverly written nail-bitter from film legend Steven Soderbergh, superbly acted by Ultron at his peek hotness.
(Amazon Prime– May 1st) 

Who’s Driving Doug? (2016)
What’s it about? Who IS driving Doug? Doesn’t matter. Newcomer Shanti Lowry gets WAY naked and does the horizontal boogie in a scene so hot it shoulda been called Who’s Driving Doug Crazy With Their Naked Body.
(Netflix– May 1st) 

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982)
There IS nudity in this Burt Reynolds driven comedy, but Dolly Parton as the madam of the titular brothel is the actual draw. The moment she walks out in that crazy old-west style lingerie we knew that the real stars of the movie were barely being concealed.
(HBO GO– May 1st) 

That’s a wrap on this month, crude believers, but join us right back here in June for more sex, guys, and titty-o-tape!

“Locke” is the writer of several nationally syndicated & critically acclaimed comic books, countless published short stories and the occasional questionable low budget movie. We at Woodrocket don't condone Locke's insanity, but we sure as hell enjoy reading it.