March signifies that the cold wintery months are now behind us and Spring is right around the corner. We've all survived another season of snow, frostbite and shrinkage, so we all deserve a treat or two, and by that I mean, some tasteful nudity to warm your body parts up in a more fun way. We've done the dirty work for ya by finding the best of the best in nude-tastic moments on your favorite streaming sites so you can do the dirty work on yourself. Get ready for this month's
SEXFLIX: The sexiest streaming movies & shows coming to NETFLIX, HBO GO, AMAZON PRIME, & HULU in March 2017
Slums Of Beverly Hills (1998)
While the pickings may be a little slim this month, if there's one thing you can count on is that Marisa Tomei will show some skin. I swear she's as much a regular fixture around these parts as a National Lampoon movie. Bonus: Even though she uses a body double, Natasha Lyonne also has no problems showing some skin. Looks real enough for us!
(Netflix – March 1st)
Hands Of Stone (2016)
This movie follows the life of famed boxer Roberto Duran, but the real knockout in this film is Cuban bombshell Ana de Armas – star of the upcoming Blade Runner 2049, whose incredibly sexy and incredibly nude body will have you getting ready for a 12-round beating... if you know what I mean.
(Netflix – March 8th)
Must Love Dogs (2005)
A good romantic “chick flick” knows that the best way to lure a guy in is to show a little skin. Whoever the director is, knew enough to have Diane Lane go bare-chested, even if it is during a sad scene. Don't make me feel guilty.
(Netflix - March 13th)
Welcome To New York (2014)
I'll be honest, none of us have ever heard of this movie before, but it stars Gerard Depardieu and he was HILARIOUS in My Father The Hero, so we gave it a shot. Needless to say, this wasn't a sequel. Gerard... if that is your real name, plays a married billionaire who happens to be a sex addict (who isn't?). What follows is a bunch of incredibly hot girls i've never heard of getting naked and boning.
(Netflix – March 23rd)
Neighbors 2 (2016)
No actual nudity, but enough young ass in bikinis to keep you interested. Also, Zac Efron and Seth Rogen take their shirts off in case you don't want to look like a sexist pig when you're drooling.
(HBO NOW – March 1st)
The Cider House Rules (1999)
The Cider House does indeed rule, but you know what rules even more? A topless Charlize Theron.
(HBO NOW – March 1st)
Under Siege (1992)
Every Steven Seagal movie should have a hot chick popping out of a cake. Buxom Baywatch babe Erika Eleniak stole the show as she jumped out of a giant pastry and dances topless for what felt like an hour, completely oblivious to the fact that no one was in the room except for an armed Seagal, with his patented confused look of “do I like this or not?”
(HBO NOW – March 1st)
52 Pick-Up (1986)
Roy Scheider can beat giant, bloodthirsty sharks, but he's no match for a porn king, who tries to blackmail him with a video of he and his mistress Kelly Preston. I don't know about you, but if I was banging 1980's Kelly Preston I would be paying people to WATCH it. Anyways, Preston is naked a lot until she dies, but then former Canadian Model and Prince-lover Vanity takes over. I don't know why it's called 52 Pick-Up.
(Hulu – March 1st)
Dead Man's Bounty (2006)
AKA Summer Love, this Western film is all kinds of badass. The movie stars a whole bunch of people I have never heard of in my life... and Val Kilmer. I guess The Ten Commandments: The Musical wasn't financially rewarding enough. Anywho, while “Batman” may be the biggest name in the film, the biggest star has to be Polish sexpot Katazyna Figura... or should I say the TWO biggest stars would be her breasts.
(HULU – March 1st)
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Rooney Mara has a very unique look about her, but when the clothes come off, she's got a smokin' hot bod that rivals some of the hottest. It's a long movie though so don't blow your wad too early. It's also a very rapey movie, so you know, be aware.
(Amazon – March 1st)
“Locke” is the writer of several nationally syndicated & critically acclaimed comic books, countless published short stories and the occasional questionable low budget movie. We at Woodrocket don't condone Locke's insanity, but we sure as hell enjoy reading it.