Ah, the dog days of summer are truly here. The temperature outside, no matter where you are, is probably uncomfortably hot, and all those goals to spend more time working on your tan at the beach (or at least in the sun) have been thwarted by the unwavering deserve to hibernate in your air-conditioned homes, with the blinds shut, counting down the days to winter (ok, maybe not). Well, even if you choose to keep your abode at a comfortable 72 degrees, there's no shame in getting all hot and bothered, which you no doubt will when you get a load of this month's...

SEXFLIX: The sexiest streaming movies & shows coming to NETFLIX, HBO GO, AMAZON PRIME, & HULU in August 2017

Beautiful Creatures (2000)
With some Inception-style nudity, Rachel Weisz makes a sex tape WITHIN the actual movie, and holy SMOKES, I had no idea she was hiding those ridiculously amazing sweater puppies. I should have known better, because after doing some late-night, candlelit research, it's come to my attention that she's naked in almost everything! Rachel, you have a new fan.
(Netflix – August 1)

Vigilante Diaries (2016)
This is everything a movie should be. It's a straight-up action flick filled with ass-kicking and hot, naked girls. It doesn't pretend to be anything else and I can appreciate the shit out of that. From Jay and Silent Bob's Jason Mewes to former UFC champ Rampage Jackson to Black Dynamite's Michael Jai White, the casting director deserves mad props. And the women? I've never heard of any of them but wow are they incredible and, here's the best part, not shy. Honestly, it may be because my pants are off but this may be the greatest movie ever made.
(HBO Now – August 1)

Happy Tears (2010)
Demi Moore and Parker Posey play sisters who take care of their father who is dealing with all the issues that come with being old as shit. Demi, shockingly, keeps her clothes on, but Parker bares all during some bizarre, psychedelic dream sequence that makes absolutely no sense. Seriously, there's like babies and embryos and glowing orbs and I think jellyfish. If you're gonna watch this for the nudity, may I suggest a little LSD before getting started?
(Netflix – August 1)

Tango & Cash (1989)
Before she really became the sex symbol she did thanks to Desperate Housewives, Teri Hatcher was flaunting her incredible body for any director that would let her. Tango & Cash was another of those late '80s action flicks trying to throw as many of the A-listers as they can, hence the combo of Kurt Russell and Sly Stallone, but don't forget the “DD-listers” (Heh heh) known as Hatcher's breasts. Sadly you have to try and forget the fact that she's supposed to be Stallone's sister in this. Just creeps me out for some reason.
(HBO Now – August 1)

Vanilla Sky (2001)
For such a weird dude, Tom Cruise sure had his fair share of crazy hot women. Vanilla Sky featured the post-Nicole Kidman belle Penelope Cruz (Who I personally don't think is as hot, but that's obviously debatable and I doubt i'd kick either out of bed for leaving crumbs). This sexy Latina never had issues showing off the goods and why would she? Her body is a perfect 10 and she knows it.
(Hulu – August 1)

The Big Chill (1983)
Glenn Close may be, like 75 now, but back in 1983 she was only just creeping up to old age and thus was still cool with getting naked for the camera. The Big Chill also had a very young and nubile Meg Tilly looking sexy as hell, even though she didn't take the nudity plunge... yet. It took her a while in fact, but we're glad she finally came to her senses eventually. Anyways, the bonus here? The movie is actually pretty good. Weird fact, Kevin Costner plays the dude who kills himself, but all his scenes were deleted.
(Amazon Prime – August 1)

Far From Home (1989)
From one Tilly (Meg) to another (Jennifer) who doesn't get naked but has no issues prancing around in her underoos. The real star of this Drew Barrymore stinker is wannabe aspiring actress-turned hardcore porn queen Teri Weigel. I think it's when things didn't blow up the way she hoped they would after Predator 2 that she realized she could make more dough boning on camera. Thankfully Danny Glover didn't go in the same direction. Anyways, this film isn't very good, but that's not why you're watching it, right?
(Hulu – August 1)

Missing In Action (1984)
I'll be totally honest, this movie isn't exactly a treasure chest for nudity, but I really just wanted an opportunity to throw an '80s Chuck Norris action flick into the mix for once. The movie is awesome because Colonel James Braddock is awesome at everything. But if you get bored of watching Norris kill and maim everything that moves, you'll be pleasantly surprised to see the naturally goodies of Lenore Kasdorf, who has made an appearance on virtually every single TV show from that decade. Seriously, she was even on Airwolf!
(Hulu – August 15)

My Bloody Valentine  3D (2009)
The remake of the iconic Canadian slasher flick that never got the attention it deserved in the horror community, has one thing going for it thats the original didn't - Betsy Rue. This smoking hot blonde was basically like, “I want everyone to see me having sex and I want everyone to see EVERYTHING!” And the director was all like, “Yeah, cool. But you gotta be chased around naked and we're gonna kill a midget during your big scene.” That all actually happened. No joke.
(Amazon Prime – August 19)