A Parody by Lee Roy Myers
It was the night of Fox's “Trump and Other Guys Debate Live in Las Vegas”, but something was wrong.
“Hey! Did you guys see what was happening in the ballroom across the street?” shouted Megyn Kelly as she ran across the backstage area of the theater towards her producer.
Kelly's choice of skirt length was so liberal that it would have made the left-wing Planned Parenthood representative she interviewed yesterday and referred to as a “baby-preventing slut-wrangler” blush. But tonight was her “Special Night” and nobody was going to get in her way, not even the Fox Wardrobe Department that felt she was showing a little “too much vag” for a Republican debate. But the skirt's length made her more aerodynamic as her long sexy legs ran her along the curtains in a panic.
Catching up to her producer, David, Megyn stopped running, but the momentum kept her breasts jiggling beneath her blouse for another 30 seconds. David just watched. His penis grew harder behind the zipper of his Kors pleated wool dress pants.
“David! Did you hear what I said?” Megyn shouted again at the same volume as she had from across the room, only this time her chest was heaving as she tried to catch her breath in between words.
David thought of Obamacare and his erection shriveled. He looked up and made eye contact.
“Wha?” the Cornell grad asked.
“Did you notice what was going on across the street?” Megyn responded.
David's interest in Megyn's beautiful eyes suddenly became an interest in what she had to say, “Nope. What's going on?”
Kelly pointed at a television in the background showing CNN's coverage of the #DemocraticLasVegasTownHall hosted by Jimmy Fallon.
The camera focused on Hillary Clinton. Her eyes said, “Fiscal Responsibility”. Her mouth said, “Fiscal responsibility”. But her form-fitting tweed jacket moaned, “Mmmmmmmm”.
“Fiscal responsibility is all of our responsibility. But this time, shouldn't we make sure that those responsible for the economic mess that we're in, the Republican party, share in that responsibility?”
The crowd erupted in applause.
Bernie Sanders grinned. Hearing his closest Democratic Party rival discuss fiscal responsibility without mentioning Wall Street's part in collapsing markets made him harder than a Double-Black Diamond trail on Stowe Mountain. He moved his mouth closer to the microphone.
“I agree, but what about Wall Street's fiscal responsibility!?” Bernie responded.
The crowd cheered.
Jimmy Fallon stood up and looked around enthusiastically. “Wow that's a lot of applause! Maybe we should lip sync We Are the Champions.”
Hit with the breeze of Jimmy Fallon's hip coolness, Hillary's nipples became hard. Ignoring them, she smiled and politely gave Jimmy a thumbs up.
Bernie Sanders nodded, as Jimmy's request reminded him of his younger days, and the time that he had humped a hippie-chick in a puddle of I'm In Love With My Caramel in a dumpster behind a Ben & Jerry's.
The applause died down. Jimmy picked up his microphone and looked at both candidates with the kind of seriousness he only reserved for interviews with Tony Danza.
“You are both very popular. But it seems as though the strength of each of your campaigns has severely divided Democrats. Since there can be only one...Highlander...” Jimmy paused for a short burst of audience laughter.
He continues, “...one of you will be voted out of the running in the race for the Presidency, which could cause the remaining nominee to lose the support of many Democrats and ultimately the White House to the GOP nominee. Wouldn't it be better if you guys just decided to come together?”
The crowd fell silent, waiting for a response. Bernie looked at Hillary. His heart pounding. He knew what the answer was, but he was unsure that he could say it.
Hillary looked Bernie in his sexy, but honest, GranDILF eyes. She took a deep breath. She licked her plump limps. This is the moment that she knew she desired but was not sure that the world would accept. That Bernie Sanders would accept. That Jimmy Fallon would accept.
“Aw, fuck it!” Sanders growled.
Bernie moved towards Hillary. He could feel the yearning coming from deep inside of her. Now he was going to have to go in after it.
Closer. Closer. Closer. Touching. Hillary kissed Bernie with the passion of a woman that had so much of her life mansplained to her, but finally had a chance to let her vagina do the talking.
The audience applauded. Jimmy Fallon touched himself and smiled.
Hillary kissed Bernie's lips as she loosened his tie. He felt her warm breath on his wrinkled neck skin. Her lips as wet as her panties, Hillary squealed in delight as Bernie's hand traveled down her body and under her skirt. Hillary's head tilted back in ecstasy. Bernie kissed her again before slowly falling to his knees. He could feel arthritis pain creak down his shins, but all of his attention remained on Hillary's body. His fingers went deeper into Hillary's pussy. She trembled and moaned. Bernie kept pushing his fingers in and pulling them out of her. The sound of her juices being squeezed out of her surprisingly filled the large ballroom.
“More! And don't forget the clit!” Hillary moaned.
Bernie pushed harder this time. He stretched upwards with every push. His erection was now throbbing in his navy blue suit pants. He grunted.
Hillary breathed heavily. Her juices dripped down her thighs, but she did not regret wearing the skirt-suit combo as opposed to the pant-suit combo that Bill recommended.
Hillary grabbed Bernie by the collar. She pulled him upwards. His knees cracked and he tried to find his balance. He leaned on her and they kissed again, this time almost devouring each other's faces with a sexual hunger only those starved for it will ever know.
Hillary touched Bernie's zipper with her fingernails. She pulled it down. Bernie growled lustfully. Intoxicated by her touch and the taste of her saliva, Bernie growled again. Hillary reached inside Bernie's zipper and grabbed hold of his circumcised penis. She couldn't believe how hard he was, at his age. His pre-cum dripped in her palm as she pulled out his organ.
“I want to work with you to make Universal Health Care work,” Bernie grumbled.
“I feel like gender pay gap could vanish under our watch,” Hillary moaned.
Bernie grabbed Hillary's left leg and lifted it to his love handle. He pulled her panties to the side and shoved his erection inside of her. They both groaned in pleasure. Bernie pulled his cock out and pushed it back in between Hillary's pussy lips. Even though they had just started, they were already close to finishing.
“Shadow banking is a real problem in this country,” Hillary lasciviously declared.
“Take all of my cock,” Bernie added.
Bernie thrusted. They both grunted with every hip movement. He pushed deeper and deeper inside of her. Hillary whispered in his ear, “Cum inside of me!”
“But what about Planned Parenthood?” Bernie asked, with desire.
“It's my body. It's my choice,” Hillary responded.
Bernie tried to respond, but was cut off by his own loud moan, “I agree—MMMMMMM!”
They both came. Their senior citizen bodies shook with raw intensity.
The crowd roared.
Meanwhile, back behind the curtain at the GOP Debate, Donald Trump, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz were gathered around a television set, disgusted, having just watched what unfolded.
“That's disgusting,” remarked Trump.
Marco looked at Trump and smirked.
“What, Loser?” Trump asked Marco.
Marco's smirk grew. “You wish that you had fingers that were long enough to please a woman,” he replied.
Cruz and Rubio laughed hysterically. Trump looked orange and irritated.
“First of all, you, and I mean this, you definitely have a thing about my hands. It's a sick infatuation, Rubio. Second, if your hands were half the size of my dick, you'd put them together and thank Ted Cruz's god that you had hands that large!” Trump grumbled.
Cruz and Rubio stopped laughing. They looked at each other. For the first time in any debate they actually agreed, without even saying what they agreed on.
“Then show us your dick, Mr. Trunk,” Cruz said with a stare so cold that it could only be made by a serial killer... or a robot.
Rubio had the same cold stare.
“I can't. My doctor says I can't show it to anyone because we're in the middle of a penis audit,” Trump said without cracking a smile.
Cruz and Rubio continued to stare silently and coldly.
Trump, fearing for his life, gave up. “Fine! I'll show you mine, if you show me yours!”
“Fine!” said Rubio.
“God says it's fine!” said Cruz.
“China!” said Trump.
“On the count of three. One...” Rubio started counting.
“...two...” he continued.
“...three!” he finished by dropping his pants and revealing his average-sized penis.
Trump unzipped his pants. He pulled out his flaccid penis. In his seemingly tiny hands however, his penis looked massive. Rubio nodded in understanding of Trump's misunderstanding.
Cruz was next. He dropped his pants revealing his large, erect penis. Trump and Rubio's eyes went wide.
“We call that my Canadian canoe.”
All three stood in silence, looking at each other's man-meat. Trump's once soft member was now hard, or at least hard enough.
“Maybe we should do what Hillary and Bernie did?” Rubio asked nervously.
“That was some loud applause,” Trump added as he licked his orange lips.
Cruz dropped his head. Marco's penis still on his mind. “I can't. It would be a sin.”
Rubio stuck his sweaty finger under Cruz' chin and lifted his head up.
“Hey. It would only be a sin if we got married or did it in the butt,” Rubio said as he smiled at Cruz. Cruz smiled back. Trump tried to smile too.
All three men slowly leaned in and kissed. Their tongues touched and it caused them to push in and kiss each other harder. They aggressively rubbed their freshly-shaved faces against each other. Rough cheeks became cushions of their love.
Trump pulled back and grinned. “You Mexicans aren't that bad.”
They each reached down and grabbed the cock of the man to the right of them. They began to stroke each other.
They stroked and stroked and stroked and stroked. They moaned and grunted and praised the Republican Party for allowing them to have the freedom to participate in a Triangle-Jerk, protected under the 28th Amendment.
“After this, if I win the GOP nomination, I would like to have you both--” Cruz told the others in between grunts.
“...as your Vice Presidents?” Rubio asked.
“No. I'd like to have you both continue on as my Right-Hand Men.” Cruz moaned as he released his jizz all over Trump's orange hand.
Trump came with a weird lip-raising reaction and a “Yeah!”.
Marco ejaculated last and hardest. His cum sprayed Donald's foreign-made tie.
“It's okay. I've got more. I've got a whole foreign warehouse full of them.” Trump chuckled.
Marco and Ted joined him. Then they all kissed again.
To be continued…